Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    I have no idea Either.

    I did hire four prostitutes once, but we did other stuff.
     
    #9291     Jun 29, 2011
  2. Either, "I've sat in a cottage pie"

    or that was not a fart.
     
    #9292     Jun 29, 2011
  3. Cassie

    Cassie

    lol ^

    Prostate check-up...


    An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the urologist is a very pretty female doctor.

    The female doctor says, “I’m going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little
    different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, ‘99’.”


    The old guy obeys and says, “99.”

    The doctor says, “Great. Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, ‘99’.”

    Again, the old guy says, “99.”

    The doctor says, “Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I’m going to check your prostate with this hand and with the other hand, I’m going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, ‘99’.”

    The old guy begins, “One … Two …Three.”
     
    #9293     Jun 29, 2011
  4. as678

    as678

    ^^ 99, lol. I'd do that too!
     
    #9294     Jun 30, 2011
  5. Where Is Tim Geithner Headed Next?

    Goldman Sachs

    JP Morgan

    Tax Consultancy

    McDonalds

    Ive League Professor

    Any non-profit that will have him

    Solitary Confinement
     
    #9295     Jun 30, 2011
  6. "According to the two law enforcement officials, the woman had a phone conversation with an incarcerated man within a day of her encounter with Mr. Strauss Kahn in which she discussed the possible benefits of pursuing the charges against him. The conversation was recorded."

    Reminds me of the guy in prison who called his girlfriend and said "I think the phone is tapped so make sure you hide the "g-u-n" on the porch."
     
    #9296     Jul 1, 2011
  7. Humpy

    Humpy

    The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it.

    The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

    The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

    The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten raccoon. The raccoon is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

    The Prez hears about this, sacks the lot of them and orders a drone to overfly the area




    :)
     
    #9297     Jul 1, 2011
  8. Yannis

    Yannis

    Gutsy Trick Play

    <object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/0UIdI8khMkw&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0UIdI8khMkw&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>

    :) :) :)
     
    #9298     Jul 1, 2011
  9. Yannis

    Yannis

    What It Felt Like When I Started Daytrading Futures

    <object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DXLOHF71L_c?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DXLOHF71L_c?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>

    :) :) :)
     
    #9299     Jul 1, 2011
  10. TGregg

    TGregg

    Dude, that was amazing. Kudos.
     
    #9300     Jul 1, 2011