Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. fhl

    fhl

    Deep, deep, deep in the inner city a guy was holding his infant son while the infant's mother was fixing some dinner.

    The infant, who had never spoke before, said 'mother'.

    The guy holding him got all excited and said "hey, the kid just said half a word"!
     
    #9271     Jun 26, 2011
  2. Yannis

    Yannis

    The JW Visit

    There was a knock on the door this morning. I opened it to find a young man standing there, trying to smile: "Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."

    I said "Come in friend, sit down and relax." I offered him coffee, and asked: "So, what do you want to talk about?"

    He looked amazed; a minute later, he blurted, "Beats the crap out of me, I've never gotten this far before..."

    :) :) :)
     
    #9272     Jun 26, 2011
  3. Yannis

    Yannis

    Click here: http://whathappenedinmybirthyear.com/ Type the year only! Then click the question (?) mark and the screen will fade to black. You'll be pleasantly surprised, sit back and enjoy!

    :cool:
     
    #9273     Jun 26, 2011
  4. TGregg

    TGregg

    :D
     
    #9274     Jun 26, 2011
  5. <iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/GVfAi7PNaeE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

    I had to chuckle on this bit of philosphy from Ali. Sort of rings true.
     
    #9275     Jun 26, 2011
  6. Lucrum

    Lucrum

    Prostate exam

    After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a
    prostate test at the National Health Service,

    I decided to have my next test carried out while visiting in
    San Francisco where the beautiful nurses are more gentle
    and accommodating.

    As I laid naked on my side on the table, the nurse began
    the examination.

    "Don't worry, at this stage of the procedure it's quite
    normal to get an erection," said the nurse.

    "I haven't got an erection," I said.

    "No, but I have." replied the nurse.


    Moral: Don't have this procedure done in San Francisco!
     
    #9276     Jun 27, 2011
  7. fhl

    fhl

    NRA babe: The way to a man's heart is between the fourth and fifth ribs.
     
    #9277     Jun 27, 2011
  8. TGregg

    TGregg

    Think you're having a bad day?

    Wrongly pronounced dead woman dies of shock at own funeral

    Cats are said to have nine lives, but some humans apparently have two — at least that’s seems to be the case when you look at the story of Fagilyu Mukhametzyanov.

    Mukhametzyanov died from a heart attack that was prompted by waking up to see she had been wrongly declared dead and placed in a coffin.

    When she opened her eyes in her casket, the 49-year-old Russian woman could hear mourners around her praying for her soul to ascend to Heaven, reports the Daily Mail. Mukhametzyanov allegedly began to scream as she realized what was going on.

    Mukhametzyanov’s heartbroken spouse Fagili was originally told his wife passed away from a heart attack after she collapsed at home suffering from chest pains. After she awoke during the memorial service, Fagili took his wife to the hospital.

    “Her eyes fluttered and we immediately rushed her back to the hospital but she only lived for another 12 minutes in intensive care before she died again, this time for good,” Fagili said.

    As to be expected, Fagili is upset about his wife’s unusual fate.

    “I am very angry and want answers. She wasn’t dead when they said she was and they could have saved her,” Fagili said.


    http://news.yahoo.com/s/dailycaller...glypronounceddeadwomandiesofshockatownfuneral
     
    #9278     Jun 27, 2011
  9. Yannis

    Yannis

    Outstanding

    <object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GLF46JKkCNg?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GLF46JKkCNg?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>

    :cool:
     
    #9279     Jun 27, 2011
  10. as678

    as678

    "Rod Blagojevich was arrested for trying to sell a seat in the Senate to the highest bidder. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. And folks, if convicted, he could wind up in prison, where his seat will be sold to the highest bidder." --Conan O'Brien
     
    #9280     Jun 27, 2011