Just in case you'd like a little encouragement to go vegan. . . Talk about a crappy diet. Surely there is something in the bible about eating a shit sandwich being a sign of the apocalypse. . . Japan scientist synthesizes meat from human feces This feels like a Vonnegut plotline: population boom equals food shortage. Solution? Synthesize food from human waste matter. Absurd yes, but Japanese scientists have actually discovered a way to create edible steaks from human feces. Mitsuyuki Ikeda, a researcher from the Okayama Laboratory, has developed steaks based on proteins from human excrement. Tokyo Sewage approached the scientist because of an overabundance of sewage mud. They asked him to explore the possible uses of the sewage and Ikeda found that the mud contained a great deal of protein because of all the bacteria. The researchers then extracted those proteins, combined them with a reaction enhancer and put it in an exploder which created the artificial steak. The âmeatâ is 63% proteins, 25% carbohydrates, 3% lipids and 9% minerals. The researchers color the poop meat red with food coloring and enhance the flavor with soy protein. Initial tests have people saying it even tastes like beef. Inhabitat notes that âthe meatpacking industry causes 18 percent of our greenhouse gas emissions, mostly due to the release of methane from animals.â Livestock also consume huge amounts of resources and space in efforts to feed ourselves as well as the controversy over cruelty to animals. Ikedaâs recycled poop burger would reduce waste and emissions, not to mention obliterating Danteâs circle for gluttons. The scientists hope to price it the same as actual meat, but at the moment the excrement steaks are ten to twenty times the price they should be thanks to the cost of research. Professor Ikeda understands the psychological barriers that need to be surmounted knowing that your food is made from human feces. They hope that once the research is complete, people will be able to overlook that ugly detail in favor of perks like environmental responsibility, cost and the fact that the meat will have fewer calories. Waste not; want not. http://news.yahoo.com/s/digitaltren...rends/japanesescientistscreatesmeatoutoffeces
There goes another good acronym. When ya google ATM you might get a recipe for a shit steak sandwich or porn.:eek:
Did you hear about the two Lepers who were playing poker? When the one threw his hand in, the other one laughed his ass off.
My wife has been worried about the corn she found on her foot. Which makes me slightly suspicious about the footprint in my dinner last night.
My dog ate a condom last night. Try explaining that to the vet as it's hanging halfway out of his ass.
When I was younger, my dad used to show me pictures about why it's important to always wear a condom. Funny thing is, they were all just pictures of me...
On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed...... On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God agreed...... On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again...... On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God. "You asked for it." So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.
Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest sages the USA has ever known. Enjoy the following: 1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. 2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. 3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works. 4. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 5. Always drink upstream from the herd. 6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. 7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket. 8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves. 9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. 10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there. 11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. 12. Never squat while wearing your spurs. 13. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut. AND ABOUT GROWING OLDER... First ~Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved. Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top. Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it's such a nice change from being young. Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been. Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf. And, finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.