Who's your babyâs Daddy? The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'Father's Details,' or putting it another way... Be sure to check out #11, it takes 1st prize and #3 is runner up. 1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night. 2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps. 3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks... (The runner-up). 4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced. 5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again. 6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country.. Please advise. 7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me. 8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you axe him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time..... well, I don't have clue.. 9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World. Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom. 10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening.. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave , mine might have remained unfertilized. 11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart. (This made number #1). WHEN THE WEALTH IS REDISTRIBUTED THESE PEOPLE WILL BE THE MAJOR RECIPIENTS.
A Bit Belated: President's Day I was eating lunch on the 20th of February with my 10-year-old nephew and I asked him, "What day is tomorrow?" He said "It's President's Day!" He is a smart kid. I asked "What does President's Day mean?" I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln ... Etc. He replied, "President's Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of high unemployment." Do you know how much it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose?...
A friend of mine was in a similar situation. His wife was ready to divorce him and wanted half his income for the rest of his life. He had this evil bastard combo lawyer/doctor who advised him to make love to his wife morning, noon and night. Every chance at every opportunity. Keep in mind, we're all middle aged to . . . uhm . . . middle aged ++. "Keep it up for three months and she's as good as dead" is the advice. So I show up at his place a couple months after this begins. Sitting on the front porch in a rocking chair under an afghan is my pal. `Cept he looks like he's aged 30 years in the past few months! Bang goes the screen door and out bounces this beautiful 25 year old! I'm feeling my oats when she walks over to my pal, tucks in the afghan, kisses him full on the lips (!) and says "See you in a bit honey" before leaving. So I'm wondering WTF is up, my pal and his Mrs. do not have any kids that I know of. And she's pretty friendly, this isn't adding up. "Who was *that*?" I ask. "That was Peggy" comes the reply from my newly aged friend. "Are you serious!? Shit, she sure looks different. She's gorgeous!" "Yeah, poor thing. She doesn't realize she's about to die."
The wife was moaning at me for my frequent trips to the pub the other night. "I think I'll have a beer", I said during the argument. "OH, "I THINK I'LL HAVE A BEER", THAT'S YOUR ANSWER TO EVERYTHING, ISN'T IT?" "I think I'll have a beer", I replied. "Do you even care about me anymore?" "I think I'll have a beer."
I met a disabled guy on a crowded beach on the weekend. I was shocked to hear he'd gone there with his girlfriend, his best friend and his dog and they'd all fucked off and left him to fend for himself. He said it happened a lot. I told him he needs to get some new fucking friends, I left him there and went and got a beer.
Not A Joke, But Very Interesting Just put your mouse on a city anywhere in the world and the newspaper headlines pop up. Double click it and the page gets larger. Fascinating, and it's always up-to-date....Have fun! http://www.newseum.org/todaysfrontpages/flash/default.asp
Darn! I got that dreaded message from my girlfriend today. She said she 'thinks we should start sexting other people'.