If you cannot answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names. ~Elbert Hubbard
I had some of Three Bean soup for lunch today. Must be my lucky day though... There were loads more than three beans in it.
It's A Jungle Out There! One morning the lion is feeling especially ferocious. He saunters over to a monkey swinging in a tree and roars, "Who's the king of this jungle?" The monkey scampers down from the tree, bows to the lion and stammered, "Wh..wh...why you are Mr. Lion, Sir!" A few minutes later, the lion comes across a warthog. He stops in front of the animal and asks, "Who's the baddest dude in this jungle?" The warthog hid his face in the dirt and whispered, "You're the baddest, o great King Lion!" This continues all morning long with animal after animal bowing and scraping to the lion. Finally the lion comes across an 80-year-old bull elephant. He bellows at the elephant, "Who's the king of this jungle? Who owns this place?" With that the elephant wrapped his trunk around the lion's belly. He raised the lion 12 feet in the air and slammed his head against the ground and then into a tree on the right and into another tree on the left. Finally, the elephant swung his trunk and threw the lion 100 feet away where the lion landed in a giant thorn bush. As the elephant lumbered down the trail the lion shook his paw and shouted, "Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get an attitude, you moron!"
Two men in the jungle , one is reading a book and the other is writing a book. A Lion comes along and eats the man reading a book , but leaves the other man alone. Even the king of the jungle knows that Readers digest, but writers cramp.
It was a dark and stormy night..... I took a girl back to my place. We were on the sofa cuddling. I started kissing her neck. I worked my way up to her ear, and whispered, "Do you do anal?" She said, "Yes... but I'll have to remove my colostomy bag first."
I went to eat lunch yesterday and ordered turtle soup. Then I thought about it and told the waiter i wanted pea soup instead. He yelled back to the cook "hold the turtle, make it pea!"
My wife told me that she's getting fed up of my boring facts. "I find them very interesting," I said. "Well, who gives a flying fuck?" She said angrily. "Dragonflies," I replied.
Funny Gipper RIP <object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mN3z3eSVG7A?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mN3z3eSVG7A?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>
This economy keeps (not) happening, it'll really be three bean soup. All those 3 stooges bits will come back into vogue, like Curly dipping the chicken into a stock pot, and putting it back in the icebox. Or when he's smoking the cigar, and Moe asks what it is. "Well, it was a Corona Corona, but when I found it, it was a Corona." coming soon to a soup kitchen near you.