Atheist: Whatâs this fly doing in my soup? Waiter: Praying. Atheist: Very funny. I canât eat this. Take it back. Waiter: You see? The flyâs prayers were answered.
âLady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.â
The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety. "Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a medal. You risked your life to save the locations of our secret warehouses." "Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said whorehouses!"
Artist's impression of this latest Japanese venture: Dow Jones reports that the latest scheme to come out of TEPCO is to cover Fukushima with a giant tent......
The Doctor's jovial attitude changed very quickly as I showed him the nasty rash on my cock. "For God's sake man!," he said, "My wife and I are still eating! Book an appointment at the Surgery and I'll see you there!"
EXERCISE FOR TRADERS Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags. Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag...