Jokes 2

Or, Piano?

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everybody in the house has a cell phone but me, sometimes I get calls on their cell phone and they hand me the phone and say "Dad, it's for you". They hand it to me and I "always" say "Where's the wire? How does this work without a wire?"

They have heard this so many times they just say 'Shut up and talk".

Then I have to re question them, "Shut up and talk?" How do I do that? In the phone or to you?"

Usually by then, the caller has hung up.

 

Gold, silver, corn, crude, all more expensive. Now the price of transitories is going up too.

 

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In case somebody offers to play the "Wooden Spoon" game with ya, .........




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I had a very important interview to go to and had to do a presentation. I was very nervous.

My friend said that I should imagine them all naked and that should calm me down.

It didn't and I did the whole presentation with an erection thanks to his advice.

 

A blonde pushes her old car into a gas station and tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly. She asks, 'Well, Sir, what's the story with my car?'
'Nothing much ma'm - just crap in the carburetor…'
'How often do I have to do that?'

 

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!’

'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

 

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'

She thought for a little and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

 

In today's post the city council wants to ban toys in happy meals in NY.

This so much reminds me of george Carlin skit where he mocks gun laws. Legislatures ban "toy" guns to prevent gun deaths.

We're all fat because of toys.

 

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