Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. op! ah!:D
     
    #8801     Apr 1, 2011
  2. TGregg

    TGregg

    The difference between Theory & Practice

    Theory is when you think you know something but it doesn't work.

    Practice is when something works but you don't know why.

    Usually we combine theory and practice: nothing works and we don't know why.
     
    #8802     Apr 1, 2011
  3. TGregg

    TGregg

    Spain's not getting a dime from me.
     
    #8803     Apr 1, 2011
  4. I'm always coming up various theories on things but trying to have an intellectual conversation with my new wife is a nightmare.

    Everytime I try to discuss a new theory, all she can say is, "Umm sucky sucky five dolla'?"
     
    #8804     Apr 1, 2011
  5. I going to sell balloons for $1.00 each or if you want them blown up it's $1.50.

    I've adjusted the price to allow for inflation.

    :D
     
    #8805     Apr 1, 2011
  6. My friend invited me along to a bukkake party last week, I wasn't quite sure what one was, so he explained that it was a party where you all go dressed as women.

    I was the only one who did though, it was great, I was the center of attention all night!
     
    #8806     Apr 2, 2011
  7. Usually I don't like to get personal but "I'll make an exception".

    When I worked for the post office, at one house a big dog came growling at me, a woman opened the window, and called out, "You'll be OK, just kick his balls..."

    ...So I gave the mutt an almighty boot in balls, dropping it to the ground.

    "No, no!" she shouted, "The ones on the front lawn"
     
    #8807     Apr 2, 2011
  8. quote of the day.

    "Nuclear energy is just as safe as U.S. currency"

    News of the day:

    Woman waits in line for 41 hours to be first in line for the new iPad, then sells spot in line for $900 which she uses to buy Lady Gaga tickets.


    ( this posts a twofer)
     
    #8808     Apr 3, 2011
  9. "While running for president as a senator from Illinois, Obama raised a record $750 million to win the 2008 election."

    Sheesh...the dollar is worth less than I thought.
     
    #8809     Apr 4, 2011
  10. I'm not very good at magic but in a last-ditch attempt to stop my wife from running off with a magician who can pull a rabbit out of a hat, I pulled a hair out my ass.
     
    #8810     Apr 4, 2011