Jokes 2

Hey Nutmeg,

We should get together and buy this thing. We'd have so much fun!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110329/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_britain_aircraftcarrier_sale

 

Two prisoneers were waiting to be executed. The warden asked if there were any last request.

Prisoner #1 says,"I want to hear Barbara Streisand sing a song over the intercom as I am being executed. The warden replied "I can do that".

The warden turned to prisoneer #2 and asked. "what would be your last request?" Prisoneer #2 replied, "Could I be executed FIRST?"

 

I really had my sights set on buying a caboose, but yeah, we could fit a caboose on the deck. Maybe open a restaurant. Hire a chef with Tourettes.

 

Sad Rob

Sitting at the bar and looking real sad, Rob told the bartender that he was drinking to forget the heartache of his broken engagement. “Yeah,” said Rob, “would you marry someone who was dumb and clueless, didn’t know the meaning of the words loving and considerate, and who was flip and even vicious when the subject of fidelity came up?”

“No, no way in hell!” said the bartender.

“Well..., whispered Rob, “as it turns out, neither would my fiancée...”

 

There are chefs without Tourettes? Wow. I remember being a busboy, flirting with the customers, flirting with the waitresses, flirting with the prep cooks and getting screamed at by the line cooks.

 

One morning Joe woke up and looked outside and saw that written in urine in the snow was "Joe sucks".

Joe called the cops and they got to work on it.

The cops called Joe and said we've got good news and bad news.
The good news is we found out whose urine it is. It's your mailman's.

The bad news is that it's your wife's handwriting.

 

Golddigger. Boning the mailman. He's working, making a good buck, and has benefits. The chicks are all over those guys. And those pants, and the stripes.........

 

why not use it as your private landing pad for your hot air balloon being able to cross any ocean? you know, 80 days around the world.

 

Killing time in Iceland
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During the Asian financial crises in the late 1990s, Congress and President Clinton heaped praise on China for not devaluing its currency.

Now, of course, China is criticized with equal intensity for doing precisely the same thing—for not changing the value of its currency.

Not a lot of currency jokes out there so I had to resort to diggin up an old news item from the Treasury Secretary schizo dept.