Jokes 2

I know ya'll are speed readers here, but slow down..savor the words otherwise you'll be reading this twice, it's so good. mnnn.
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A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?"

The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave.

The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie

At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes.

Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants.

He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

 

It's even cold in Florida.

 

"Has The Chairman Stopped Ordering Ink? Hewlett Packard Plummets After Hours On Major Downward Guidance Revision"

Hey, I was working on the same joke.


I was going to try and tie in jobs and catridge refills. oh well....the day ain't over yet.

 

A Sign outside local car wash read: Hand Wash and Dry only $15.

I hate to think how much a car wash costs.

 

Yahoo News: 'Elton John Bounces Baby Boy On His Knee'.


That's a bit cruel......I bet the baby has got a sore knee now

 

Pike st nyc

You just can't go wrong with New BJs ... 99 cents....Feel the Savings! Tired of your old BJs but not eager to pay retail new BJ prices? This is the place for you. Say goodbye to used, distressed or otherwise obsolete BJs and update your collection with the new fall line, .....

 

I'd never tell my wife that she's got a fat ass, but she does get three inches taller when she sits down.

 

This Is Funny

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The Elegant Party

It was an elegant dinner party and the hostess had left nothing to chance, except that a little water had splashed on the marble floor.

And when the waiter came into the dining room carrying the beautiful roast suckling pig, he slipped and fell flat, sending the roast flying.

“Don’t worry, Tomas,” said the hostess calmly. “Just take the roast back to the kitchen and bring out the other one...”

 

Strike two.