Remember that guy who worked for the NY Sun, Richard Brown? He was a nudist. One day, he was recognized, and the guy shouted, "isn't that Dick Brown from the Sun?"
des·per·a·tion (dsp-rshn) n. 1. The condition of being desperate. 2. Recklessness arising from despair. 3. The willingness of companies to raise prices shows they are feeling better about the domestic recovery.
People call me The Dictionary. Because I'm so defined. °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸ woo °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸
DJ: "96 FM here, what's your name?" Caller: "Hi, my name's Nutmeg." DJ: "Nutmeg, what's your word?" Nutmeg: "Goan... spelt G-O-A-N pronounced 'go-an'." DJ: "You are correct, Nutmeg, 'goan' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?" Nutmeg: "Goan fuck yourself!" To be continued....
DJ: "96 FM here, what's your name?" Caller: "Hi, my name's Nutmeg." DJ: "Nutmeg, what's your word?" Nutmeg: "Jizziotherapy'." DJ: "You are correct, Nutmeg, 'Jizziotherapy' is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What is the defintion of "Jizziotherapy". Nutmeg: "A three minute one-handed massage that relieves stiffness for up to half an hour."
Dictionary For Womens Personal Ads 40ish ..................... 49 Adventurous ............... Slept with all your friends Athletic .................. No Tits Average looking ........... Has a face like an ass Beautiful ................. Pathological liar Contagious smile .......... Does a lot of pills Educated .................. Fucked to death at college Emotionally secure ........ On medication Feminist .................. Fat Friendship first .......... Former slut/born again virgin Fun ....................... Annoying Gentle .................... Dull Good listener ............. Autistic New Age ................... Body hair problems Old fashioned ............. No blow jobs or anal Open minded ............... Desperate Outgoing .................. Loud and embarrassing Passionate ................ Sloppy drunk Poet ...................... Depressive Professional .............. Bitch Romantic .................. Frigid Social .................... Ass like a clowns pocket Voluptuous ................ Very fat Large lady ................ Hugely Fat Wants soul-mate............ Stalker Widow ..................... Murderer
Another Great Oldie A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, âPerfect timing. Youâre just like Frank.â Passenger: âWho?â Cabbie: âFrank Feldman. Heâs a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along just when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.â Passenger: âThere are always a few clouds over everybody.â Cabbie: âNot Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.â Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special." Cabbie: âThereâs more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybodyâs birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right. Passenger: âWow, some guy then.â Cabbie: âHe always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.â Passenger: âAn amazing fellow. How did you meet him?â Cabbie: âWell, I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife...â
Women! Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused: ''Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it,'' she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.'' A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ''Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it." Her mother just smiled and replied, ''Of course I do, dear... I'm wearing it to the rehearsal!