My wife and I had a daughter not that long ago, We're nowhere near mature enough to be parents. After her first feeding, she passed out, so we wrote on her.
3a. Be very careful to keep well away from outstretched claws that emerge from the gaps between the lids and the bowl.
Did ya see in the news that a dog can predict colon cancer @98%? Yuppers, dogs, day in and day out, sniffing crotches paid off. Anything could be happening down there, one day we'll have a dog MD. On a side note. Who was the first patient, the first doctor who said ,"mnnnh these tests are inconclusive, get Spotty over hear, let him take a whiff".
Senior Texting Code Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears to be a need for a STC. If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you. ATD: At The Doctor's BFF: Best Friend Farted BTW: Bring The Wheelchair BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth CBM: Covered By Medicare CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center DWI: Driving While Incontinent FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers FWIW: Forgot Where I Was FYI: Found Your Insulin GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low! GHA: Got Heartburn Again HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On? LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out LOL: Living On Lipitor LWO: Lawrence Welk's On OMMR: On My Massage Recliner OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas. ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop TTYL: Talk To You Louder WAITT: Who Am I Talking To? WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again WTP: Where's The Prunes? WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil GGLKI: (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)
At a mental health hospital a psychiatrist sets a test to determine the mental progress of his three top patients. He gets three chairs and repaints them. Before they dry, he repositions them in a room in such a way that one is in front of the other. After this, he calls the three patients and asks them to seat down. The first two gladly sit on the wet chairs at the front. However, the third who comes in last takes one look at the wet chair and then proceeds to the corner of the room where there is a pile of papers. He takes one sheet which he drapes on the wet chair before sitting. Surprised by the action of the third, the doctor asks him why he draped the sheet of paper on the wet chair. "That's easy," came the reply, "seeing that am seated at the back, I needed to be a bit raised if I wanted to see what's happening at the front!"
I'm still laughing. This is the best. I'm going to print this. FWIW (whooops....not near a printer) lmao