Come on Don. The funniest joke you ever heard. When you heard it, and from whom. You hung around Leslie Nielson. Even if you have to swipe if from Burlesque. I know a guy as old as you haunted the theaters. Strippers, Jessel, Cantor......... My idea of heaven. Give, Don. Give. Your floor................... (drum roll here).
Abraham Lincoln was accused of being two-faced he replied, "If I had two faces, do you think this is the one Iâd be wearing?". As told to Don by Abe Lincoln himself.
Now, That's Some Serious Golf Skills <object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uCEB9GgKoJ0&rel=0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uCEB9GgKoJ0&rel=0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>
The Commodities Trader Silver in the Hair Gold in the Teeth Crystals in the Kidneys Sugar in the Blood Lead in the Ass Iron in the Arteries And, An inexhaustible supply of Natural Gas... I never thought I'd accumulate such wealth!
It's Only Relative $ Michael Jordan having âretired,â with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not. $ If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. $ If he goes to see a movie, itâll cost him $7.00, but heâll make $18,550 while heâs there. $ If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, heâll make $618 while boiling it. $ He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage. $ Heâll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends. $ If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours. $ If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second. $ Heâll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round. $ Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st. $ If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you âd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year. $ Heâll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon. $ While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, heâll pull in about $5600. $ This year, heâll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isnât it? However⦠$ If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, heâll still have less than Bill Gates has today... $$$ Game over. Nerd wins!
Subject: Alzheimers test Alzheimer's Test How fast can you guess these words? 1. F_ _K 2. PU_S_ 3. S_X 4. P_N_S 5. BOO_S 6. _ _NDOM Answers: 1. FORK 2. PULSE 3. SIX 4. PANTS 5. BOOKS 6. RANDOM You got all 6 wrong....didn't you? Well, you don't have Alzheimers, but you may be a pervert!
"We want to sell you all kinds of stuff," Obama told Hu. "We want to sell you planes, we want to sell you cars, we want to sell you software... To which Hu replied " I hear ya, we are up to our ying yang in bonds"