Jokes 2

After 30 years of marriage to Florence, Jim the plumber left his wife.

The note on the kitchen table simply read

"It's over Flo".

 

So Oprah Winfrey goes to the doctor. She is admitted to an examining room, where she is asked, by her Doctor, to disrobe.

Seems she was due for her annual physical.

 

A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation.
She was awake, so he examined her.
“You’ll be fine,” he said.
She asked,
“How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?”
The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.
“What’s the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won’t I?”
He replied,
“Yes, you’ll be fine..
It’s just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out.”

 

Oh, give me the PILLS and the ring of the drills
And the rich silver ore in the ground;
Yes, give me the mouth where the dentist can sluice
And the bright, yellow gold can be found.

 

Two Jews walk into a bar. They order a pitcher of beer, and ask for some pretzels. When the beer is gone, one looks at the other and says, "Want another?" His friend says, "no. I've got a big day tomorrow. " They get up an leave.

 

I called the doctors' office today and said I needed an appointment. The receptionist told me I needed to wait three weeks.

"Three weeks??? The doctor can´t see me for three weeks??? I could be dead by then!"

The voice at the other end of the line replied, "If so, would you please have your wife call to cancel the appointment?"

 

I've been reading Bernanke battle plan and frankly I think he is on the right track long term. I think we link tarp and misc bailouts in the same strategy as current money matters. The too big to fail is sort of an outlier, gone done kaput overwith old news.

(have to be serious once in a while)

Perhaps you might say well nutmeg where's the link. The link is in your head, seek out the positive, forums in general dis our Fed policy and personally I think the sentiment is wrong.

Everyone can run circles around Obama, in this instance having a putz for president is a good thing. Leave Ben alone to do his stuff.

peace out bitches.

 

Why did Bernanke cross the road?

Cause there's a Boehner in the house.

 

I know for a fact that oriental people are sick to death of us saying they all look alike.

I have a Chinese colleague called Kim and he came out with a few of us after work for drinks the other night.

I asked him "Are you sick of us westerners saying you Chinese all look the same?".

He said, "Kim's at the bar, I'm his wife".

 

I went standing in line for the world domino championships but tripped and knocked over the guy in front of me. He then knocked over the guy in front him...