Jokes 2

Sometimes it's the simple things... This cracked me up, Sen. Barbara Boxer and a David Zucker "rebuttal".

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I'm going to apologize for this joke ahead of time.....


"General Motors on Wednesday finalized terms for a nearly $13 billion stock"

(drum roll..........

We can't sell cars but we can sell stock.

I am missing something here. lmao.... call me old fashioned.

Wasn't this supposed to be the other way around????

I know, I know,,,,,, I told you this was a bad joke....

 

I have a friend who isn't technologically savvy like Bret Farve.

He mails pictures of his penis.

 

I was reading my newspaper when my parrot said to me "Why are you staring at the carpet?"

 

did you get that picture I mailed you?

 

Yea, thanks. I'm going to put it in a locket and trade it for a flu shot.

 

It's almost November the fucking 4th and my kids come back from trick-or-treating.

I guess I should drive them further next year.

 

From the files of Dr Stunata:

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to me and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?'

'Just use paper from the photocopier', I told her.

With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

 

So then...

I was checking out at Walmart with just a few items
and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.

I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code
so she could scan it.

Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'

She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.

 

It folds out, you know.