Jokes 2

Love Those Lawyers

A butcher saw a lawyer passing by his shop one day, and asked him: Sir, what would you do if a dog came in and stole your meat?
The lawyer answered: why? of course, I’d make the owner pay for it!
The butcher continued: If that is so, now you owe me $15 because it is your dogthat stole my meat.
The lawyer replied: very well then, just deduct the $15 from the $100 you owe me for the advice, I’ll collect the remaining $85 the next time I pass by here!

 

with material like this, how can they cancel the Tonight Show for the writers' strike? And no selling our pick up lines to E Harmony.

 

A set of jumper cables with a particularly bad reputation walks into a bar and asks, "Do you serve jumper cables in here?"

"Yes", spoke the bartender, "but just don't start anything."

 

OK I'll just make one up.

A toilet bowl goes into a bar and says, " A round of free drinks for every one in the bar. Then the bartender says, "Can you pay for all those drinks" and the toilet bowl says.....................

Do I have to finish this thing

 

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1105072jenkem1.html

"Hey Man! This is some really good shit!"

 

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Give me a pitcher of beer . . . and a mop!"

 

great pickup line:

"is that a mirror in your pocket? cause i can see myself in your pants"

works every time

try it

 

Really disgusting. But I knew all that waste would be worth something someday..

 

My girlfriend works at Hooters. In the kitchen.

 

My girlfriend is so hot sometimes I just shit the bed and kick it out with my foot.