Jokes 2

Modern Sensitive Male

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier." Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a dirt path.

She looked at the men in the room, "and Gentlemen, remember -- You're in this together -- It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her.

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

"Yes,” answered the Instructor.

"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk??”

---- This kind of sensitivity just can't be taught...

 

This joke is the property of the Dyslexic Association. All rights reversed.

 

The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

 

I wish I lived back in the old west days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick.

Then I'd go out West and start digging for gold.

When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I'd say, "Looking for gold, ya durn fool." He'd say, "Your pick is gold," and I'd say, "Well, that was easy." Good joke, huh.

 

The Russian couples sex life was terrible, so they went out and bought a black market copy of a sex manual.

A week later, the man said to the women, "Honey, I want to eat your pussy like it says in the book, but it smells so bad.

Why don't you go out and buy some of that feminine deodorant spray?"

She agreed. An hour later, she returned, all excited. "You should see the flavours they have," she told her husband.

"Strawberry, cherry, banana ...."

"What did you get?" he interrupted.

"Tuna," she replied.

 

getting a polish girl pregnant is easy. all you gotta do is cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

 

some mornings I wake up grouchy and some mornings I let her sleep

 

Went to the doctors today.

Told him I was in Wall Mart and a stack of toilet paper rolls fell on me.

Dont worry he said, there just some slight tissue damage.

 

I accidentally tripped over a man with erectile dysfunction the other day

Looking back on it, 'no hard feelings' was probably not the best thing to say

 

Wolves may be able to smell fear, but even humans can smell it when you're shitting yourself.