Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. fhl

    fhl

    How many cops does it take to push a suspect down the stairs?

    None. He fell.
     
    #7831     Oct 13, 2010
  2. My friend said to me 'I caught a rabbit with a snare yesterday'

    I thought 'Maybe he's part of a band'
     
    #7832     Oct 13, 2010
  3. [​IMG]


    Hey Joe, where you goin' with that hammer in your hand
    Hey Joe, I said where you goin' with that hammer in your hand

    I'm going down to River town & hammer my old lady
    You know, I've caught her messin' around with another man
    I'm going down to Rivertown & hammer my old lady
    You know, I've caught her messin' around with another man
    And that ain't too cool

    (See dat lot where day ain't no house? That where she be libbin)

    Peace out Jimi:cool:
     
    #7833     Oct 13, 2010
  4. LEAPup

    LEAPup

    Life in the South:

    "I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.

    Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

    Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniel's and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

    A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.


    Life is good in the South."

    Ooh rah!:D
     
    #7834     Oct 13, 2010
  5. I am wondering how do you put a homeless man, under a house arrest?
     
    #7835     Oct 14, 2010
  6. "One lady owner."

    So the clutch is fucked then.
     
    #7836     Oct 14, 2010
  7. Uncle Bob goes to the pawn shop to get money for the TV set. On his way he meets the President. The President tells him:
    'Uncle Bob, don't leave your TV here in the pawn shop, next week there will be some great programming.'
    'Yeah, and what kind, son?'
    'On Monday I, on Tuesday my wife, on Wednesday my family, on Thursday my party. Friday, Saturday, Sunday; the people!'

    So, Uncle Bob goes home, but the wife demands an explanation why there's no money.
    'I met the President and he told me how great the programming is going to be next week.'
    'Yeah, what programming?'
    'Monday: The Idiot, Tuesday: The Taming of the Shrew, Wednesday: Married... with Children, Thursday: Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, Friday-Saturday-Sunday: Les Miserables.'
     
    #7837     Oct 14, 2010
  8. 'I met the Nutmeg and he told me how great the programming is going to be next week.'


    Father Knows Breast.

    A situation comedy about a plastic surgeon who does boob jobs.
    -------------
    8" is enough.

    same plastic surgeon doing penile implants.
    --------------
    Make Room For Daddy
    A sitcom about an incestuous family

    --------------

    Celebrity Survivor: Celebrities like Brittany Spears, Lindsay Lohan and others get put on and deserted island and left there to die. There are no competitions, or games or prizes we just drop them off there.
    --------------
    SpongeBoB PinkTrianglePants: Bob and his life partner Pat-rick go through life in No-bikini bottoms


    ---------------
    Widowed, with children....

    al finally snaps and takes peg out.
     
    #7838     Oct 14, 2010
  9. I was on vacation in India last week when I saw a sign saying "English Speaking Taxi Drivers Available"

    I thought fuck we need to get one of those in our country
     
    #7839     Oct 14, 2010

  10. :p :p :p
     
    #7840     Oct 14, 2010