Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Another good one....and, yse, I gladly donate montly to our Nevada SPCA - EVERYONE should help animals....period.

    Thanks again for the video...

    Don
     
    #7771     Sep 29, 2010
  2. Yannis

    Yannis

    BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED, FOR THEY LET IN THE LIGHT!
    TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

    by Maxine


    1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
    2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
    3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
    4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
    5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
    6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
    7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
    8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
    9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
    10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
    11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
    12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
    13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
    14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
    15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
    16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
    17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
    18. Procrastinate Now!
    19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
    20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
    22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
    23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
    24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
    25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
    26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. (how true)
    27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
    28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
    29. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

    :) :) :)
     
    #7772     Sep 30, 2010
  3. Yannis

    Yannis

    The Burqa Car & Driver

    <object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CsmrDaJ93-E?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CsmrDaJ93-E?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>

    :) :) :)
     
    #7773     Sep 30, 2010
  4. Yannis

    Yannis

    THOSE SOUTHERN LADIES

    For those of you who don't live in the South and think they are a bunch of uncivilized ruffians - well, it’s simply NOT TRUE! In fact, there are ladies' groups that meet regularly to discuss current events and develop needed home-skills.For example, this photo was recently taken at a ladies group meeting where they were discussing the elections coming up in November... Watch out America!

    [​IMG]

    :) :) :)
     
    #7774     Sep 30, 2010
  5. Yannis

    Yannis

    Music Box Dancers

    <object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/X2WTEvhDpqM?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/X2WTEvhDpqM?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>

    Then they grow up and become daytraders...

    :) :) :)
     
    #7775     Sep 30, 2010
  6. Did you know that if a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; and if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle?

    Also, there is not one single statue of a horse in France.
     
    #7776     Sep 30, 2010
  7. EDF Energy has been finally sold to the Chinese. So what will they change their name to?

    Sweet & Sour Power



    (Check it out Humpy I might be making this up. :D )

    Here a link there a link everywhere a link link.:D :D
     
    #7777     Sep 30, 2010
  8. I'm enjoying my week off work so much.

    All I've done is sit around in my pants, scratch my balls and get stoned.

    I have a funny feeling I won't get called up for jury duty again though.
     
    #7778     Oct 1, 2010
  9. fhl

    fhl

    You really do have to hand it to the French...After all, they won't fight for it.
     
    #7779     Oct 1, 2010
  10. fhl

    fhl

    We've got a French doctor in town that's having his license taken away for having sex with his patients.

    Sucks. He was the best vet in town.
     
    #7780     Oct 1, 2010