Jokes 2

I went to the doctor and all the guy wanted to do was take blood. Wouldn't talk about anything else.

Never go to see Dr. Acula.

 

I went to donate blood the other day, but they wouldn't take it.
Apparently they need to know where it comes from.

 

There is a local story that a lawyer appeared in court and responded at the call of a particular motion.

He said he represented the defendant but he didn’t know about “et al.”

The judge, first name Albert, responded that “et” was Latin for “and” and as for “Al, that’s me.”

 

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."

The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"

The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence".

The Mexican man of course agrees.

The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence."

The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"

 

Jesus : Just another carpenter who promised to come back one day and finish the job.

 

Disclaimer: segway PTs are not recommended for flying or swimming.

 

Garden Of Eden And The First Lawyer

<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6vniZZlq1u8&rel=0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6vniZZlq1u8&rel=0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>

 

Is this thread getting slower? What's happening? Help!

 

A few years ago a man won the Spanish national lottery with a ticket that ended in the number 48. Proud of his “accomplishment,” he revealed the theory that brought him the riches. “I dreamed of the number 7 for seven straight nights,” he said, “and 7 times 7 is 48.”

&mdash; The Drunkard's Walk: How Randomness Rules Our Lives by Leonard Mlodinow

 

Wow, Betty White the early years....with pot references and the whole thing...great video, thanks Yannis...

And, yes, I agree ...where the heck is everyone on the Jokes thread....my laughter needs some stimulation guys, LOL.


Don