Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. I Said To My Girlfriend, Why Dont You Tell Me When You Orgasm ?

    She Said I Dont Like Phoning You When Your At Work.
     
    #7751     Sep 21, 2010
  2. Baron

    Baron Administrator

    Bob walked into a local bar and said to the bartender, "I'll have three beers please."

    "Three? Um, ok.." said the bartender.

    Bob gets his three beers and then sits down at one of the pub tables. The bartender noticed that Bob would sip one beer, put it down, sip the next, put it down, and then sip the last one and start all over again until all three were gone.

    Bob walks back up to the bartender and says, "I'll have three more beers please."

    Thinking for a second, the bardtender says, "You know, your beer would be fresher and stay colder if you'd just order one at a time."

    Bob says, "Well, for the last 5 years, my two brothers and I would meet once a week and drink together, but a few months ago one of my brothers joined the military and the other moved away for a new job. So in memory of my two brothers and the great times we had, I just carry on our weekly tradition as if they were still here."

    "Wow. That's a pretty moving story.", said the bartender.

    Bob gets his three more beers, drinks them down in the same way, and then leaves.

    A week later, Bob comes back into the bar and says to the same bartender, "I'll have two beers please".

    Looking puzzled, the bartender says, "Two beers? What happened to your usual three beers?"

    Then Bob says, "Well, my wife took me to the Baptist Church this past week and they made me swear off alcohol, so now I'm only drinking on behalf of my two brothers." :D
     
    #7752     Sep 22, 2010
  3. Do I sense a bit of Rodney Dangerfield in this joke....good company to be in, he was the best....

    Don :)
     
    #7753     Sep 22, 2010
  4. Two scientists walk into a bar, and decide to have a drinking contest.

    The first walks up to the barmaid and says, "I'll have a glass of H2O, please."

    The second scientist says, "I'll have a glass of H2O, too."

    Needless to say, the first scientist won.

    :D ahahahah ha ha ha. :D

    Get it!!!??? H202 is hydrogen peroxide. I'm not a doctor I'm a scientist.:cool:
     
    #7754     Sep 22, 2010
  5. As part of that goal, Warren said she's determined to simplify the process consumers go through to apply for credit.

    ---------------------

    Pulse..................... Seems to be one..... sign here.

    How'd that work out for subprime? lmao

    For sure we have a Harvard professor steering the ship. zzzzzzzz

    I just got a cc from Lowe's that took whew!!!!! 3 minutes

    sumbody do sumpin.....................

    But then again, I never understood professors.:D :D :D

    "What I object to is building a profit model around fooling people," she said.

    In other news....

    "Harvard University suffered the largest decline in endowment funds of any major US college last year,"



    hahah fooled you.
    ow ow owwwwww. Hurts don't it????? Bet she has a hard on for ws.
     
    #7755     Sep 23, 2010
  6. Yannis

    Yannis

    Interesting Hand Dancing

    <object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/iANRO3I30nM?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/iANRO3I30nM?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>

    :) :) :)
     
    #7756     Sep 23, 2010
  7. Last night my friends called me a fucking dickhead for no reason.

    I captured the whole ordeal on my iPhone.
     
    #7757     Sep 23, 2010
  8. I saw some Helium the other day, I said, "you are nothing but a noble gas" do you know what? The Helium didn't react at all.

    Yeah, that's stoopid nutmeg.....

    "Thanks"
     
    #7758     Sep 23, 2010
  9. Yannis

    Yannis

    "Ok Go" Does It Again

    <object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/nHlJODYBLKs?version=3"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/nHlJODYBLKs?version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></object>

    :) :) :)
     
    #7759     Sep 23, 2010
  10. How does it change many dyslexics to take a light-bulb?
     
    #7760     Sep 23, 2010