I'm setting up a search engine called Askyourdad.com you type your query in and it sends you straight to Askyourmom.com.
Http://www.instantrimshot.com Please tell me who you stole that from, so when I steal it, which would be the first chance I get, I can give credit.
Apple does it again! Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
My wife said, "If I ever catch you cheating on me, I'll stab you in the back". I said, "What with?" She said, "What does it matter?" I said, "Well, if you're going to use a sponge .. then I have something to tell you".
I was telling my friend the other day that my dog was really intelligent. "OK, then, show me," he said. So I pointed my finger at him as if it were a gun, and went: "BANG!" "What does that prove?" asked my friend. "He's just sitting there licking his balls." "Exactly," I said. "He knows he isn't really dead"
Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel , "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land." Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land." Today, Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land! I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc . I called a Suicide Hotline and I had to press 1 for English. I was then connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They asked if I could drive a truck
Talk about depressing..... "Doctor, I've broken my leg." Doctor: "I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again."
Yo, honor among thieves. Tell 'em you made it up. I did. meanwhile we had our first Tourettes Karaoke night. If it was funny I'd post a link but it's not. Just a bunch of swearing and bad singing. I think we have a few imposters.