well it's so shock when you can have a look at the truck driver like him , but if you are a ghost, how do the truck driver feel?
Lucky Admitting his 0-4 record is not impressive "on paper," trainers announced that Lucky, a German shepherd guide dog for the blind in Wuppertal, Germany, is available for his fifth owner. Lucky led his first owner in front of a bus, killing him. Then he led the second off the end of a pier, drowning him. He nudged his third owner off a railway platform in front of an express train, killing him. And he walked his fourth owner into heavy traffic, abandoning him to be hit and killed. The new owner won't be told of Lucky's record because, the trainers say, the dog might sense nervousness "and do something silly."
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Chinese Sex Therapist A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date, nor any sex in quite sometime. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her MD recommended that she go see Dr. Chang, the well-known sex therapist. So, she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, you take off all your crose." "Now, get down and clawl reery fass to the odder side of room." So, she did... Dr. Chang then said, "OK now clawl reery fass to me," so she did. Dr. Chang slowly shook his head and said, "Your probrem vewy bad, you haf Zachary Disease, worse case I ever see, dat why you not haf sex or dates." Confused, the woman asked, "What is Zachary Disease?" Dr. Chang replied, "It when your face rook Zachary rike your ass."
A blind man is at the opticians with his guide dog. Both are facing the eye test chart on the wall. The optician takes the guide dog away , and replaces it with another guide dog, and asks, "Is that better or worse?"
Political Hell A powerful senator dies after a prolonged illness. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the guy. "Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the senator. "I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening attire. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. "Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity." He reflects for a minute, then the senator answers, "Well, I would never have said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell." So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to him and lays his arm on his neck. "I don't understand," stammers the senator."Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is, is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning! Today you voted for us! The election is over."
Joke about Obama trading a pig for Clinton and Pelosi Last Tuesday, as President Obama got off the helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm.The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, Salutes and says: âNice pigs, sir.â The President replies âThese are not pigsâ¦these are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and I got one for Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi.â The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, Salutes and says, âExcellent trade, sir.â