Yo, I invented "pizza in a cup". Cook up your pie and put it in a blender and serve with a straw. Got the idea one day after I drank too much and puked up a couple slices of sausage and pepporoni.
I took my girlfriend to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray.
President Clinton looked up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him. "What is it?" yelled the President. "It's this abortion bill, Mr. President. What do you want to do about it?" the aide asked. "Just go ahead and pay it." responded the President.
This label on this loaf of bread says that two slices contain as much calcium as a glass of milk, now I just need to find out which ones.
One of my facorite Kris Kristoferrson songs....reminds me, said Yoda. LOL Full song: http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/kristofferson-kris/dont-cuss-the-fiddle-13036.html I found a wounded brother Drinkin' bitterly away the afternoon And soon enough he turned on me Like he'd done every face in that saloon Well, we cussed him to the ground And said he couldn't even steal a decent song But soon as it was spoken We was sad enough to wish that we were wrong Don't ever cuss that fiddle, boy Unless you want that fiddle out of tune That picker there in trouble, boy Ain't nothin' but another side of you If we ever get to heaven, boys It ain't because we ain't done nothin' wrong We're in this gig together So let's settle down and steal each other's songs Don