Jokes 2

For sale: 10 Used Condoms.
No weirdos.

 

I hate it when my finger accidentally pokes through the toilet paper mid wipe. Other than that, I'm really enjoying my new job at the old folks home.

 

A guy walks into a brothel and says "I'm a bit kinky, how much is total humiliation?"

The Madam replies "$37.99"

"Wow," he says. "What do I get for that?"

The Madam says: "An England Shirt."

 

I've started a new job, Going well so far,
Working as a comedian in an old folks home, I tell them jokes, They don't understand me,
They still piss themselves

 

They laughed at me when I quit my day job to be a comic. Well, they aren't laughing now.

 

No, I'm not telling that joke again.

As I've said over and over, I never repeat myself.

 

A friend of mine told me he knew a great way to keep an idiot in suspense.

He'll tell me tomorrow and I'll let you know what it is.

 

So I'm in the gym minding my own business when the guy next to me says:

"Hey, man, I can bench 300 pounds - what can you do?"

"Er, read."

 

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