The Denver weatherman said, expect 10 to 12 inches of snow tonight so park on the right side of the road so we can plow the left side. Willieâs wife ran out and parked on the right side. The next week the forecast called for another 10 to 12 inches of snow, but this time he said park on the left side. So Willieâs wife ran out and parked the car on the left side of the road. The following week he said 16 inches of snow expected park, the lights went out and all our power was lost. Willieâs wife said, my goodness, now I donât know where to park the car. âWhy donât you just leave the stupid car in the garage!â Willie said.
When I went to France, I asked the guy at the train station if I could buy a train ticket. He said: "eurostar"? I said: "No, just give me the regular treatment".
I'm so lonely here in England these days I deliberately post shit jokes on here just to get a message in my inbox! Two minutes and I'll have another... Love Fabio
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. "Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know." So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time. The next day the brunette says "That was fun, we should do it again sometime." "No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
Its not Pancake Day for at least another 6 months and already the supermarkets are selling flour, eggs n milk. When did it all become so commercialised?
(Shouting over the music in a night club.) "Hey Honey, would you like to dance!" "Uh...No thank you!" "No, I think you misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!"