Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. eat your heart out.

    Jambalaya on the Bayou - Hank Williams
    2 min 56 sec - May 19, 2008
    www.youtube.com
     
    #7281     May 28, 2010
  2. Give a dog a bone, and it'll have fun for a week.

    Teach a dog to bone....
     
    #7282     May 28, 2010
  3. fhl

    fhl

    Guy gets ready to make his first ten-second delay skydive. His jumpmaster sees he's nervous and says, "Don't worry. Just get out there, arch, count to ten, and pull your main ripcord. If there's a problem with the main, you know you have a reserve. When you land, the truck will pick you up and take you back to the loft."

    So the guy exits, arches and pulls. Nothing happens. He reefs on his reserve ripcord. Dirty laundry comes out of the reserve container. He's falling faster, close to terminal, and he looks at the ground and says, "Great. I bet the dang truck won't be there, either."
     
    #7283     May 29, 2010
  4. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
     
    #7284     May 29, 2010
  5. Tonight at midnight we will parachute into German territory, we will be landing under heavy fire. Many of you will be injured, Many will die.

    The worst news however, We're going to help the French..
     
    #7285     May 29, 2010
  6. A man in a hot air balloon shouted down to a farmer in a field "where am i?"

    The farmer shouted "You cant fool me, you're up there in that little basket!"
     
    #7286     May 29, 2010
  7. TGregg

    TGregg

    What are you doing, setting up a joke like that? Might as well finish it. . .
     
    #7287     May 29, 2010
  8. TGregg

    TGregg

    This guy goes on his first solo 15 second "soar" dive, where you soar for 15 second before you pull the rip cord. The instructor tells him "No worries mate, just pull the main rip cord when you are ready. If it fails or hangs up, pull the reserve chute. The truck'll be there in a few minutes to pick you up."

    So he jumps. Whoosh! 15 LONG seconds pass. He pulls the main ripcord.

    Nothing happens.

    "@&^(!" He pulls the reserve. Laundry flies out of his backpack.

    "@&^(!" He says. "The @&^(ing truck probably won't be there either!"
     
    #7288     May 29, 2010
  9. Ride or die.

    [​IMG]
     
    #7289     May 30, 2010
  10. Apparently, Gary Coleman's funeral will be the first time a Smart Car has been used as a hearse
     
    #7290     May 30, 2010