"Doc," says Joe, "I want to be castrated." "What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement. "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Joe. "But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!" "I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind -- either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor." "Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!" So Joe has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way. "Hi there," says Joe,"It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me." "Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised." Joe stared at him in horror and screamed, "Dang! THAT'S the word""
DETROIT, May 15 (Reuters) - The U.S. Treasury Department is interviewing Wall Street bankers to advise the government on an initial public offering of General Motors Co [GM.UL], the Wall Street Journal reported on Saturday. Hundreds of Dutch investors are lining up to buy shares, which was being billed as a hottest thing since a Moody's AAA rating. The new GM company backed by supporters such as Nancy Pelosi, Tim Geithner and Barack Obama and lost my ass on Ford - Krikorian. The announcement about the company's IPO was posted on dirtydutchman.com, a financial web site for Dutch investors. It was reported that shares in the IPO could be reserved for USD $0.58 each by email, although it was said that analysts anticipated the stock soaring to above $80 on the first day of its filing. The company seemed like a sure thing, and almost immediately orders worth over $7 million flooded in.
The local police chief did a talk on Heroin at school last week. It was really hard to understand any of it .
A call was answered at a 911 emergency center.. "Please, send an ambulance, my wife has eaten poisonous mushrooms," Bill Clinton said. The ambulance came, and the paramedics examined the victim. "Why does she have a bump on her head and bruises and scratches all over?," one of the paramedics asked. "She didn't want to eat the mushrooms," Bill answered.
A triple play of golden oldies: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, and after finishing their dinner they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" "Watson, you idiot!" He exclaims, "Somebody's stolen our tent!" A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off â go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
A car hits a Goldman Sachs trader. The paramedic rushes over and says, âAre you comfortable?â The guy says: âI make a good living.â
A car hits a GS trader. then, he backs up, and hits him again. Difference between a dead snake and dead GS trader lying in the road. Skid marks in front of the snake.
http://entertainment.blogs.foxnews....a-rima-fakih-stripping-contest-photos-emerge/ this is so much better than those broads who played the violin (badly), or recited poetry (badly). This recession borders on depression, and this girl is exhibiting a marketable skill.