Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. fhl

    fhl

    My wife said it was time for my physical and the doctor needed a urine specimen, a stool sample, and a semen specimen.

    I told her, "look, I don't have the time, just send them my underwear."
     
    #7131     May 6, 2010
  2. maxpi

    maxpi

    This morning I went to sign my Dogs up for welfare. At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare". So I explained to her that my Dogs are mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no frigging clue who their Daddies are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care, and feel guilty because they are dogs.

    So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My Dogs get their first checks Friday.

    Damn this is a great country..
     
    #7132     May 7, 2010
  3. Awesome. Thanks for a good laugh.
     
    #7133     May 7, 2010
  4. Yannis

    Yannis

    Funny Steve Bridges

    <object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rot1yguplr8&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rot1yguplr8&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>

    <object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Y3-T7zAKYWM&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Y3-T7zAKYWM&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>

    :) :) :)
     
    #7134     May 7, 2010
  5. fhl

    fhl

    NEW JERSEY REPORTS FIVE NEW CASES OF ASIAN SWINE FLU

    But, health officials are debating whether nausea, headaches, and diarrhea aren't just symptoms of living in New Jersey.
     
    #7135     May 7, 2010
  6. Doggie Diversity for ALL

    This morning I went to sign my Dogs up for welfare.

    At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare".

    So I explained to her that my Dogs are mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no clue who their Daddies are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care, and feel guilty because they are dogs.

    So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify for welfare in Democrat States. My Dogs get their first checks (with Voter Registration Cards) on Friday.

    Damn, this is a great country.
     
    #7136     May 8, 2010
  7. SORRY - didn't see that I was late to the party with this one!!



     
    #7137     May 8, 2010
  8. Stop me if you heard this one. {:>)


    This morning I went to sign my Dogs up for welfare.

    At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare".

    So I explained to her that my Dogs are mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no clue who their Daddies are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care, and feel guilty because they are dogs.

    So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify for welfare in Democrat States. My Dogs get their first checks (with Voter Registration Cards) on Friday.

    Damn, this is a great country.
     
    #7138     May 8, 2010

  9. Can you remember the last time you heard a funny Alzheimer's joke?
     
    #7139     May 8, 2010
  10. <object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4VvhCRTe-c4&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4VvhCRTe-c4&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
     
    #7140     May 9, 2010