Jokes 2

Speaking Of Texas

There was a guy in San Antonio who looked very distraught and was ready to jump from a rooftop to his death. A crowd gathered to watch, anxiety was very high, and someone yelled: "don't do it man, we're all Texans here, remember the Alamo!"
The sad guy yelled back: "What's the Alamo?"
The crowd dissolved... no-one went to the funeral...

 

Clip from my favorite movie, for those of you who don't wish to watch, I'll tell you the ending. Pee Wee asks to see the basement of the Alamo. (He thinks his missing bike is there).







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Once, in a typical inner-city school, there worked a science teacher who just didn't want to work.

She decided to make a clone of herself so she could loaf twice as much. Well, the clone helped her a lot, but it also gave her a bad reputation because it kept swearing at the children.

One day, the woman couldn't take her clone's rudeness any more, so she took it to the top of the school building and pushed it off. Soon after, the woman was arrested for making an obscene clone fall.

 

If the clone were bald

Would she be an obscene clone dome?

 

Remember when he got busted in Sarasota for rubbing one out in a porn theater? He never retained counsel. Always knew he could get himself off.

 

Some people are going to leave a mark on this world...I'll probably leave a stain.

 

I got a chuckle out of this:

Harry Hindsight lives.

The first casualty of war is truth and the first casualty of finance is amnesia. I wonder about that fateful meeting in January 2007 between Goldman Sachs, ACA and Paulson. Would buyers have walked away if all materials had stated in bold red ink on the dealbook cover "A merger arbitrage manager you likely haven't heard of with no known expertise or track record in credit may have helped choose the underlying loans and will likely bet against them". Or "Fabulous Fab and some of the Goldman Sachs GS proprietary credit traders are currently bearish on subprime credit but they have been right AND wrong in the past". How might this have changed things?

 

THIS JUST IN: There has been a bad air spill at an offshore wind farm!

Damage estimates expect the slight breeze to be contained in a day or so...

 

Man, you let one fart escape and everyone is making jokes.

 

Keeping With The Times

Two kids were deciding what game to play. One said, “Let’s play doctor.”
“Good idea,” said the other. “You operate, and I’ll sue.”