Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Another Canadian joke I found:

    Newfoundlanders have the Lowest Stress rate because they do not take medical
    terminology seriously. You are going to die anyway, so live life.



    Newfie Medical Dictionary



    Artery............................. The study of paintings
    Bacteria......................... Back door to cafeteria
    Barium........................... What doctors do when patients die
    Benign........................... What you be, after you be eight
    Caesarean Section........ A neighborhood in Rome
    Cat scan........................ Searching for Kitty
    Cauterize...................... . Made eye contact with her
    Colic.............................. A sheep dog
    Coma............................ . A punctuation mark
    Dilate............................ . To live long
    Enema........................... Not a friend
    Fester........................... . Quicker than someone else
    Fibula........................... . A small lie
    Impotent........................ Distinguished, well known
    Labor Pain..................... Getting hurt at work
    Medical Staff................. A Doctor's cane
    Morbid........................... A higher offer
    Nitrates......................... Cheaper than day rates
    Node.............................. I knew it
    Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted
    Pelvis................. .......... Second cousin to Elvis
    Post Operative.............. A letter carrier
    Recovery Room............ Place to do upholstery
    Rectum......................... Nearly killed him
    Secretion...................... Hiding something
    Seizure........................ . Roman emperor
    Tablet........................... A small table
    Terminal Illness............ Getting sick at the airport
    Tumor........................... One plus one more
    Urine............................. Opposite of you're out
     
    #7091     May 1, 2010
  2. back in the day I worked in a hardware store, no women worked there and maybe 5% of the customers were women. Working with all men was pleasant and I looked forward to it.

    That's the way it was back then, not passing judgement on women in the workforce or working with them there after.
     
    #7092     May 1, 2010
  3. fhl

    fhl

    <img src="http://www.investmentpostcards.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Portfolio-of-securitized-souls-small.jpg" />
     
    #7093     May 2, 2010
  4. #7094     May 2, 2010
  5. ......young entrepreneurs who set up a lemonade stand opposite Buffett's famously unpretentious home, selling to the sightseers stopping by for a glimpse.

    The sliding price scale: “$1,000 (for) Billionaires, $100 (for) Millionaires, 50 cents (for) New B Shareholders.”


    :D

    I'm going to head over to Omaha and sell

    "Goldman Sachs synthetic lemonade" Imported from France.

    How's this for the name?

    "à toute allure"

    (full speed ahead)



    I'll be working on my recipe and pricing later in the day.
     
    #7095     May 3, 2010
  6. How's this for the name?

    "à toute allure"
    ---------------------

    Red Bull was taken.

    Of course I could go with

    GS'n me.
     
    #7096     May 3, 2010
  7. My lemonade can range from 20 calories to 800 calories per serving which contains water or "water" equivalent.
     
    #7097     May 3, 2010
  8. Potatoes are much cheaper than lemons, I'm checking with Martha Stuart on lemon scented potatoes.
     
    #7098     May 3, 2010
  9. fhl

    fhl

    Did you hear about the two car pile-up on the Arizona freeway?

    50 Mexicans were injured.
     
    #7099     May 3, 2010
  10. fhl

    fhl

    What's the most popular sport in Mexico?

    Cross country.
     
    #7100     May 3, 2010