Jokes 2

I'm absolutely exhausted from my French self-defence class last night.

I've never run so far in all my life.

 

The worst part about changing a diaper is when Grandpa starts taking another shit.

 

I asked my mother, "Was I a gifted child?"

She said, "Well we certainly would never have bought you."

 

Attention Forex Traders!

Heard on the Street: if the Germans back out of the deal again, the Greeks may change their currency from the euro to the gyro...

 

Ass.. standing, Meter-by-Meter

In display of a store, like a treasure

Oh dear god, GIVE ME A PENIS!! of one Kilometer

I would grant this ass.... pure pleasure

 

Some Amazingly Simple Home Remedies:

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life ~ wd-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the wd-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

A final thought: Some people are like slinkies ~ not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

 

For The Beer Lovers Among Us

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Remember the joke about what is a submarine full of?

Well that is a joke no more...

http://www.navy.mil/search/display.asp?story_id=52954

 

I wonder when we will have a woman for secretary of defense.

 

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