Jokes 2

It would be funny as hell if the SEC charges against GS ends up pointing the finger right back to the rating agencies or Congress or the SEC itself.

SEC shoots self in foot. lmao

 

No kidding, this f'r won't quit.

 

For Hummingbird Lovers

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It's A Doggy Dog's Life

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The American Virtues

When God created man, He bestowed 2-virtues to each nationality.

Thus, he made the British punctual and law-abiding; the Germans, disciplined and studious; the Japanese productive and patient. And so on. But, about the Americans, He said: "when they come about, they shall be intelligent, honest, and work for the government."

When God finished creating the world, Archangel Gabriel approached and said: "Lord, you gave everyone only two virtues, but to the Americans you gave three. That will make make them too powerful and disrupt the ballance of nations on Earth."

"You are correct, Gabriel", said the Lord. "This oversight will make the Americans masters of the world. I must do something, but I can't take back what I've already given them... Eureka! All three virtues will remain, but each American will only be able to have his choice of any two of the three virtues."

And so it came to pass: If an American is honest and works for the Government, he's not intelligent; If he's intelligent and works for the Government, he's not honest; and if he's intelligent and honest, then he's not working for the Government!

 

Use Your Own &&^^%%$$ Coin

http://www.220.ro/funny/Nu-Folosi-Moneda-Altuia/8ruKguZvZR/

 

friend emailed me this pic he took...
cant decide between 57 and 60
(or 58 for that matter)

 

Another Great Oldie: Lessons From Yogi

Yogi Berra was a better baseball player than he was a speaker, but he's probably quoted more than Churchill. Much of what he said seems silly; until you think about it for a moment...then you discover a more profound meaning.
Here are a few of my favorite Yogi-isms. Each is like a Rorschach test and self-help course rolled up into one:
• "You can't think and hit at the same time."
• "Nobody goes there; it's too crowded."
• "A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore."
• "The only reason I need these gloves is 'cause of my hands."
• "We were overwhelming underdogs."
• "The other team could make trouble for us if they win."
• "It's never happened in World Series history, and it hasn't happened since."
• "It's d`ej`a vu all over again!"
• "We made too many wrong mistakes."
• "If people don't come to the ballpark, how are you gonna stop them?"
• "If you ask me a question, I don't know -- I'm not going to answer."
• "Slump? I ain't in no slump...I just ain't hitting."
• "It was hard to have a conversation with anyone, there were too many people talking."
• "Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel."
• "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
• "We're lost, but we're making good time."
• "If the world were perfect it wouldn't be."
• "If I didn't wake up I'd still be sleeping."
• "I usually take a two hour nap from 1 to 4."
• "If you can't imitate him, don't copy him."
• "It gets late early out here."
• "90% of the game is half mental."
• "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours."
• "Steve McQueen looks good in this movie. He must have made it before he died."
• "I'm as red as a sheet."
• "I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question."
• "Pair up in threes."
• "Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken."
• "Don't get me right, I'm just asking!"
• "Never answer an anonymous letter."
• "You can observe a lot by watching."
• "It's not too far, it just seems like it is."
• "You've got to be careful if you don't know where you're going 'cause you might not get there."
• "We have a good time together, even when we're not together."
• "Little League baseball is a good thing 'cause it keeps the parents off the streets and it keeps the kids out of the house!"
• "The future ain't what it used to be."
• "It ain't over till it's over."
• "I really didn't say everything I said."
~Yogi Berra~

 

I think he must have been Bushy's Guru.

 

LOL, still the best..

Don