Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Old Man's Solo Sex


    It's Hell to be Old OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet! An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.' The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. 'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. 'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.' The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?' The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.
     
    #7031     Apr 19, 2010
  2. I'm not an alcoholic; I just like having an attractive wife.
     
    #7032     Apr 19, 2010
  3. gwb-trading

    gwb-trading

    It started with bankers in the U.K. asking 'Where can we find some pansies to sell this CDO crap to?"

    UK "We are going to make ourselves rich by selling wothless CDOs dressed up as jewels to your fishermen banks"
    Iceland "Yeah we are getting rich.... Big Party."
    UK "We will even sell short and bet against the crap we sold you"
    Iceland "Hey, this stuff melted down and is worthless."
    UK "By the way we expect you to tax all your citizens 3 million dollars each to make up for our 'losses'".
    Iceland "FU - stuff it. We voted and ain't paying."
    UK "We'll start seizing your international assets till you pay."
    Iceland "FU. Enjoy some volcanic ash."
    UK "Stop.... you're sinking our economy!"
    Iceland "Maybe you should of thought about that before you demanded repayment on the worthless crap you sold us."
    UK "Choke....cough.... choke...."


     
    #7033     Apr 20, 2010
  4. Humpy

    Humpy

    The Icelanders are paying off with c-ASH
    keep smoking boys
     
    #7034     Apr 20, 2010
  5. Yannis

    Yannis

    Danse? Did You Say, Danse?

    <object style="height: 344px; width: 425px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Iht7UBZR7pU"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Iht7UBZR7pU" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></object>

    :) :) :)
     
    #7035     Apr 20, 2010
  6. Yannis

    Yannis

    This Looks Like Fun

    <object style="height: 344px; width: 425px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GwYrPhLBvz8"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GwYrPhLBvz8" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></object>

    :) :) :)
     
    #7036     Apr 20, 2010
  7. Rep. Anna Eshoo, D-Calif., said 40 municipalities nationwide lost around $1.7 billion after the firm went under.

    °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸ woo cry me a river °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸
     
    #7037     Apr 20, 2010
  8. Now if we could just find the other 634 billion. lmao
     
    #7038     Apr 20, 2010
  9. ammo

    ammo