Wall Street's Truth - LTCM Location: LTCM JM: Gentlemen, I just realize that we are so smart. Everything we do makes money! Let's leverage up and make more money! RM: Let's make millions! MS: No, let's make billions! DM: No, let's make trillions! ER: You guys are geniuses! Literally! Location: Unknown Secret Head Quarter for Big Traders Secret Big Trader 1: Those LTCM guys think they are so smart. We got to risk our capital to teach them a lesson. Secret Big Trader 2: I am with you on that one. They don't seem to be aware of the liquidity problem. Secret Big Trader 3: They are totally clueless. lol Secret Big Trader 1: Let me tell you what we will do. We will take the other side of every trade they make. Secret Big Trader 4: Good idea! Let's do it! Location: LTCM JM: We are ruined! Our position got too big! We need a bail out! RM: We should have consider the liquidity of the market. MS: What's liquidity? DM: I have no clue. ER: Don't look at me. I just do math.
A Calpers spokeswoman told the paper that she is not aware of any federal criminal investigations scrutinizing the fund's investments. When it's 7 am in New York, it's 1998 in California.
C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, âsorry, but we donât serve minors.â So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, âExcuse me. Iâll just be a second.â Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, âGet out! Youâre the seventh minor Iâve found in this bar tonight.â E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, âyouâre looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development.â Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that heâs under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
Quote from Optionpro007: Fox news: "Qantas Pilot Allowed to Fly Despite Urges to Crash Jets" ----------------------- Overheard at Wall Mart "I keep having a strong urge to drive my fork lift off the edge of the dock with 10,000 dollars of worthless Chinese junk" Oh the humanity. hey, it's a workmans comp claim. no biggee. Say what you gotta say.
Abbott and Costello Get an AIDS test: Doctor "Bad news pal, the test came back. HIV+" A&C "Oh No! you're positive ?" Doctor "What, no not me, the tests are for you." A&C "Yeah but how positive are you?" Doctor "I'm not positive at all. Your the one..." A&C "So you're saying the diagnosis isn't final?" Doctor "No. Results are in. You are psoitive!" A&C "Great. That sounds like a good thing" Doctor "It's not, you want to be negative" A&C "Negative, really? are you postive?" Doctor "ARRRGGGGGGGGG!!"
I have just found inner peace. Its quite simple, just finish all the things you started but never finished. I went round the house this afternoon looking for all the things I never finished. The Vodka, the Baileys, the Rose wine and the valium. You have no fucking idea how peaceful I feel now.
I got out of the shower and my wife said, "Ooo look, it's like a penis ... only smaller". I said, "Ooo look, it's like my secretary ... only fatter and less flexible".