This one is a Canadian joke. It's a joke about the intelligent level of people living in the province of Newfoundland, who are mostly fishermen and talk in a different way. Note: The following is just a joke and does not truly reflect the intelligent level of Newfies. Here it goes: How many Newfies does it take to change a light bulb? 100. One to hold the bulb, and 99 to turn the house.
I only know one Canadian joke. A mother and son were in a bar drinking beer. In walked two tough looking outdoorsman, lumber jack types. The mother said to her son "Go ask them where they are from". The son walked over to the table where they were sitting and said "Where are you guys from?" one answered, "Saskatchewan". The son walked back to his table and said to his mom, "They don't speak English".
Opps wait one more. I went to a restaurant in Windsor and ordered an imported beer. Ahhh, I was young and had never tried an imported beer. They brought me a Bud. I said I could get that home.
Yikes, I've been looking for an entry point, I missed it. Who knew that entry point would last for 10 minutes out of the previous 10 days. Today is going to suck wind, I can just feel it. There's always tomorrow.
A Redneck cowboy from Sweetwater, Texas, walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an International Redneck Festival and would be gone for two weeks. He needed to borrow $5,000, but he was not a depositor in that bank. The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. He produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest. Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from Texas for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground garage and parked it. Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out on Dun & Bradstreet and found that you are a highly successful investor and multimillionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines around Sweetwater, Texas. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The good ol' Texas boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be here when I return?"
Funny Latins The Latin professor went to a bar near his house for a drink to settle his nerves. "What'll it be?" asked the bartender. "A martinus," said the professor. "Don't you mean martini?" "Hey, if I wanted more than one I'd ask for more than one!"
From "Latin for Even More Occasions" (Lingua Latina Multa Pluribus Occasionibus) by Henry Beard Valeo--Vales. I'm OK--You're OK. Rosa rosa rosa est est. A rose is a rose is a rose. Ventis secundis, tene cursum. Go with the flow. In curro meo ab Officina Baiuoaria Mechanica fabricato habeo machinam quae litteras per aethera transmittit. I have a fax machine in my BMW. Quid agis, caput assulae? How's hacking, chiphead? Quid gurgustium! What a dump! Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Malum Magnum The Big Apple Oppidum Bracteatum Tinsel Town Heia, comes, num aliquid agitur? Hey, you got a problem, pal? Quando prandimus? What time is lunch? Tam diu minime visu! Long time no see! Vale, lacerte! See you later, alligator! Hocine tibi habeas iocum? Is this your idea of a joke? Proxima sed non corona. Close but no cigar. Semper ubi sub ubi! Always wear underwear!
This is side splitting. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQCwnoMMqtA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQsBGxhbYl4&feature=related