One Lion was enjoying the sun at the beach in America. A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing?" Lion answered, " No, I am Banta Lion." Another guy came and asked the him the same question. Lion answered, "No! No! Me Banta Lion!" A third one came and asked him the same question again. Lion was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Lion soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?" The other Lion was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing." The Lion slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid, idiot. Everyone is looking for you and your are sitting over here!"
India is making a new chemical warfare weapon from the word's hottest chili (not making this up): http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100323/ap_on_re_as/as_india_chili_grenades Over a million Scoville Units, holy moly. So I was reading up on them at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chili_pepper and I found this warning:
Somewhere in Russia where everyone is enjoy an enchanted wedding party.... Person A: This couldn't be the best time for a game of Russian Roulette! (pulls out a menacing-looking gun) Who wants to play? Wedding Crowd: Yay! Our favorite traditional Russian game! Person A: "Click" Wedding Crowd: Yeah! You are the man! (drink more vodka) Person B: (grabs the gun) "Boom" Wedding Crowd: Person A: I should have brought a chess board. http://www.dail*****.co.uk/news/wor...ding-guest-shoots-party-trick-gone-wrong.html Seriously, who would play Russian Roulette in a wedding party?
Some time ago, a group of another ethnicity developed their own version of Russian Roulette. Instead of a revolver, they used a pistol.
Fox news: "Qantas Pilot Allowed to Fly Despite Urges to Crash Jets" http://www.foxnews.com/world/2010/0...fly-despite-urges-crash-jets/?test=latestnews
Federal regulators are studying whether sudden acceleration in Toyotas is linked to cosmic rays. In other news: Federal regulators are studying whether sudden acceleration in M1 & M2 is linked to cosmic rays. Federal regulators are studying whether sudden acceleration in hope and change is linked to cosmic rays. Trial lawyers are exploring the "cosmic ray" defense. ----------- I have harnessed the cosmic rays and caused them to operate a motive device. Cosmic ray investigation is a subject that is very close to me. I was the first to discover these rays and I naturally feel toward them as I would toward my own flesh and blood. I have advanced a theory of the cosmic rays and at every step of my investigations I have found it completely justified. Where in the heck is Telsa when you need him.
Another Good Oldie Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two - one to hold the giraffe underneath the refrigerator and the other to run after the lawnower in the bathtub. Alternate answer: Seven - one to start the acid drip and six to get the bananas. And of course, there's always the well studied ancient response: A fish!