When Halloween gets here, I'm gonna buy a bag of big candy bars and a box of razor blades. ------------------------------------ Actually I think we could strike terror with a few packs of candy cigarettes, some Jesus pamphlets (ten commandments printed on the back) and ummnn. let's see what else, how about a piece of rope. You know, innocuous stuff. Bags of leftover airline peanuts. Whoopsie, sorry about the peanut allergy. (Cripes contaminate the whole bag, maybe the whole neighborhood). Better yet, be a good guy and hand out trophies for halloween. Glad you found my house --- atta boy.
Builder confidence in the market for newly built, single-family homes fell back two points to 15 in March as poor weather conditions............................ ------------------------------ We are at about 4 economic indicators this year that blame the weather. stay tuned for Al Roker to replace Bernanke.
JOB OPENING Chairman of the Federal Reserve. Must be able to appear calm, cool and collected while lying like a rug as the economy collapses around you. Requires the ability to maintain poise and gracefully answer #@*^ing stupid questions from Congress and/or the media. Ability to enter numbers into a computer with vapor trails of zeros behind them a plus. Masters in Meteorology is required for this position.
George Carlin is (was) hilarious; <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/eyWsFfd9pqE&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/eyWsFfd9pqE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
I got an errant text: The weed in the fridge turned out to be lettuce, Tell Jim I still need the 5 dollars.
My aunts used to tease me about being single at weddings. They laugh and poke me in the ribs and say "You're next" and watch me squirm. So I started doing it to them at funerals.