Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/VXdX6MuG66E&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/VXdX6MuG66E&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
     
    #6741     Feb 28, 2010
  2. Retirement party for "measured?"

    With Greenspan's term set to end on January 31, there is rising hope that the Fed may finally be prepared to remove the statement about how it plans to raise interest rates at "a pace that is likely to be measured."
    -----------------

    I've just read this from the national weather service:

    "....federal forecasters were taking a 'more measured path', because the storm hadn't yet fully formed."
     
    #6742     Mar 1, 2010
  3. fhl

    fhl

    A homeless man was walking down the street in Santa Barbara and came up the driveway of a house as a housewife was getting out of her car.

    Homeless man: " I haven't seen any meat in two weeks".

    Housewife to her maid: "Nueva, go and get a meat casserole out of the freezer and show it to him."
     
    #6743     Mar 1, 2010
  4. TGregg

    TGregg

    Who knew that the Arabs have their own version of the Miss America pagent?

    DUBAI (Reuters) – Ten golden-colored camels adorned with sparkling ornaments line up for the finale of a beauty contest in one of the UAE's northern emirates, awaiting the selection of two proud winners.


    . . .

    After the prettiest camels are selected, based on the length of neck, curve of the humps, structure of the body, height and general appearance, the camels' owners are sworn in to vouch for purity of lineage and proprietorship.

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100225/od_nm/us_beauty_festival

    I guess goats are too common to have beauty contests.
     
    #6744     Mar 1, 2010
  5. Yannis

    Yannis

    Recession Woes

    I finally managed to have my surgery, but the doctor gave me only a local anesthetic; I could not afford the imported kind...

    :) :) :)
     
    #6745     Mar 1, 2010
  6. Obama says, "I will turn the US around."

    Good, let North Dakota be closer to Mexico for a change.
     
    #6746     Mar 1, 2010
  7. Sure Mrs. Harrington. I believe that.

    Like, there's something wrong with strippers. I've been in plenty of Home Depots, and I like strippers better than HD employees. Strippers talk to you and provide a valuable service.
     
    #6747     Mar 1, 2010
  8. TGregg

    TGregg

    <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xpcUxwpOQ_A&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xpcUxwpOQ_A&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
     
    #6748     Mar 1, 2010
  9. FredBloggs

    FredBloggs Guest

    whats the best thing about fucking a transvestite up the ass?

    reaching round, and thinking youve gone all the way through!

    :D
     
    #6749     Mar 2, 2010
  10. fhl

    fhl

    There were two baby skunks called In and Out, and they lived with their mother and father, who were called Up and Down.

    One day, Up and Down decided to go out, so they called Out and, because he was the older, told him to look after In and make sure that In didn't go out while they were out. Out promised faithfully to look after his brother.

    However, soon after Up and Down had gone out, Out sat down and fell asleep. So In saw his chance and went out. So that when Up and Down came in, they said to Out 'Where's In?' and Out sat up and said 'Oh my goodness, In must have gone out.' So Up and Down said 'Well, you'd better go out and find him.'

    So Out went out, and lo and behold! within two minutes he returned with In. 'Gosh, Out,' said Up and Down, 'how did you manage to find In so quickly?'

    'Oh, it was easy,' said Out. 'Instinct.'
     
    #6750     Mar 2, 2010