Who fucking knew???? Who in the heck would buy this book? I'm mean who would have this book on their nightstand? Ya walk into Starbucks an someone is reading this. amazon: 40 used from $0.18 Brother can you spare a quarter?
I get on extremely well with the lesbians next door. They asked me what I would like for my birthday. I was stunned when they gave me a Rolex. It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch." Why is it when your wife becomes pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy and say "congratulations "but none of them rub your dick and say "well done"? Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby "Is this yours?" she asked. "Probably." said Paddy "She burns everything else!" Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled?" "No," she replies "it's just regular porn you sick bastard."
Being a dyslexic homosexual, my visit to the Large Hardon Collider could have been money better spent.
Women say that a man's brain is in his penis. In which case, we men often do "brain exercises" and therefore must be smarter than women.
What a great morning. I've got coffee, croissants, bathrobe, slippers and a loyal dog. As I looked out the window, I thought to myself, "I wonder what else I can steal before my neighbour wakes up?"
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1y3jmE87SoE&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1y3jmE87SoE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Wr8y9BVP2e0&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x402061&color2=0x9461ca"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Wr8y9BVP2e0&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x402061&color2=0x9461ca" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
I was listening to a radio show when a caller told a story about how he smoked weed for the first time. He rolled a big ol' joint and smoked it alone. Then he started freaking out, afraid he was going to have a heart attack. So he calls 911 and convinces them to send a paramedic over. The paramedic tries to convince him that he's just stoned but our hero is having none of that and insists on being taken to the hospital. So they do. The nurses and doctors and other patients all start laughing at him when he gets there. A doctor gives him something to calm him down, then writes (in big letters) on a prescription form "STOP SMOKING WEED!" <IMG SRC=http://www.salem-news.com/stimg/may172007/norml_brownies_1350.jpg> http://www.salem-news.com/articles/may182007/cop_brownies_51807.php
Rats! <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YqlQS5CCmwI&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YqlQS5CCmwI&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>