Jokes 2

Also seized was George Washington Savings Bank in Orland Park, Ill., with $412.8 million in assets.

Betcha George is pissed.

 

Not bad for an E.U. production!!

Fleggaard Holding A/S, through its subsidiaries, markets electronic appliances. The company specializes in selling televisions and radio sets.

Fleggaard Holding is based in Krusaa, Denmark. Just across Germany's northern-most border with Denmark you’ll find an incredible superstore called Fleggaard. There, you can buy everything you need – tubs of gummi bears, cases of wine, industrial strength dishwashing soap – at prices 30% cheaper than you’ll find in Denmark. It is Denmark's Costco, packaged as a German loophole.

The 100+ women do stunts in the air – while free-falling – holding hands to spell out “Half-off on Dishwasher at Fleggaard.” You’d be hard-pressed to find a man in Denmark who hasn’t seen and fallen in love with that commercial. It was geared strictly to men. The ad is real!

Here is a link to their most popular commercial.

http://www.m2film.dk/fleggaard/trailer2.swf

 

The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

 

Kids Are Quick. Answers by 5 - 10 year olds...

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America

MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this kid)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher
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LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!

 

That's funny, bravo!!

 

so im in this bar last night talking to a gorgeous broad.
i fancy a little pussy i said to her.
so do i she said, mines the size of a house...

 

Remember Jesus' miracle of multiplication, in which he had a handful of bread and fish and made thousands of copies of them and then distributed for free to thousands of people?

Replace "bread and fish" with "games/music/movies" and there you go. Piracy.

Jesus was killing the bread and fish industry.

 

My girlfriend hates the fact that I smoke Class A drugs after sex.

I told her it's not my crack that's stinking up the room.

 

My girlfriend was cooking dinner in her bra last night..

I said to her "don''t you have a frying pan?"

 

I went to a chinese diarrhea convention last night , after the speech finished everybody started crapping.

(C'mon c'mon you'll get it. read it again)