When the car buyer is disillusioned with Toyota, this is the right time to push " Be American, buy American, own a Honda"
AMISH VIRUS Hello There, You English: You have just received the "Amish Virus." As we don't have any programming experience, this virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files from your hard drive and manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list. Thanks for your cooperation. Amish Computer Engineering Dept. God bless!
Toyota recalls lawn mowers. http://s387.photobucket.com/albums/oo319/STFU-PICS/?action=view¤t=Electric_Lawnmower.flv
Roses are red but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.
Having daugters is tough. My youngest daughter comes running into the house holding her hand with tears in her eyes. "What's wrong, sunshine?" I ask her. "Quick, give me some cider" she says. "I hurt my hand." "Cider? What are you going to do with cider?" "It gets rid of pain." She then tells me she overheard my oldest daughter say ". . .that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."
One for the ladies (a belated observance of Valentine's Day): One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb... A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..." "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy! A PRAYER.... Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A: To stop the snoring before it starts. Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe. Q: What is the difference between men and women? A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"