Jokes 2

The American woman quits, goes to the Riviera with her boyfriend.

The French newspapers celebrate: "French swimmer first - English swimmer finishes last!"

The English papers celebrate: "English swimmer second - French swimmer gets to shore just minutess before the last one!"

Back in the States, the American Swimming Committee gives a great big gold medal to President Obama for his message of change and hope!

 

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So the SEC IG pinches SEC staffers for viewing huge amounts of porn while at work.

The first time one of these bastards show any inkling of knowing what they're doing, and the Bosses yell at them.

This guy here is funnier than Nutmeg:

"I justified it because I would work late and I rarely would put in for any kind of comp time or anything like that," he said.

 

"I justified it because I would work late and I rarely would put in for any kind of comp time or anything like that," he said.
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Fly, a lawyer just used a similiar excuse for a politician who took a bribe. I can't recall who but it was someone in NY.

 

The town homosexual, is in a bar, on all fours, trying to pick up some money he dropped.

A big bouncer says, "Hey, you! Move it or I'll give you a foot up the ass!"

He looks around and says, "I think you're bragging, but I'm game if you are."

 

I'm watchin' Groundhog Day for the second time ever, and picked up a quote I missed the first time around (maybe this is an uncut version).

Andie MacDowell says "Why would anybody steal a groundhog?"

Then Chris Elliot (whom I do not much care for) says "I can probably think of a couple reasons. Pervert."

 

My friend Sid was a victim of I.D. theft.

He's just called S now.

 

Due to sever budget cuts during the economic downturn, digging at the city cemetery will be reduced to skeleton crews.

 

Funny Mrs Hughes

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