Jokes 2

se·cret (skrt)
adj.
1. Kept hidden from knowledge or view; concealed.
2. Dependably discreet.
3. Operating in a hidden or confidential manner: a secret agent.
4. Not expressed; inward: their secret thoughts.
5. Not frequented; secluded: wandered about the secret byways of Paris.
6. Known or shared only by the initiated: secret rites.
7. Beyond ordinary understanding; mysterious.
8. Containing information, the unauthorized disclosure of which poses a grave threat to national security.

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Updated January 27, 2010
U.S. in Secret Joint Operations With Yemeni Troops

FOXNews.com

U.S. military teams and intelligence agencies are deeply involved in secret joint operations with Yemeni troops, Fox News confirmed.

 

I tried this secret shit with the pizza guy and he never showed up.
After I place my order I said "Remember, we never had this conversation."

 

3.14 walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve pie."

 

There's a way of transferring funds faster than electronic banking.

It's called marriage.

 

Q: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig?

A: A woman that won’t do what she’s told.

 

A man is walking along the street when he is brutally beaten and robbed. He lies unconscious, bleeding.
While he is lying there, a police officer passes by, but crosses to the other side of the road, without trying to help.
A boy scout troop does the same. As do a number of pedestrians.
Finally, a psychologist walks by, and runs up to the man. He bends down and says, "My God! Whoever did this needs help."

 

When I was a youngster back in school I always got in trouble for sleeping in class, especially for my first clas of the day which was English. One Monday morning the teacher saw me snoozing and said "Quick TGregg, give me two pronouns."

"Who? Me?" was my reply.

 

Chavez said in comments on state television during a meeting to promote national production. “They say that Chavez wants to expropriate everything. That’s not true.”

The president said that he’d like to form a joint venture with Ron Santa Teresa, one of the country’s main exporters of rum, adding the firm should remove the word rum from its name.

 

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I was in the doctor's yesterday when this dwarf pushed right to the front of the line and demanded he saw a doctor immediately.

The receptionist calmly responded, "Now calm down, I'm afraid you're going to have to be a little patient."