The Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) in the US is considering packaging assets from failed banks into securities, the Financial Times reported Monday on its Web site. ------------------- Now why would the Fed want to regulate derivatives? If they regulate that then they couldn't do this. (This is sort of a joke)
One day Charlie Chan is working a murder mystery when another body is found. This latest victim had been stabbed only once. Charlie lifts the blanket and examines the body. "Ahhh so the clot thickens." he says.
Comedian walking off stage: "Boy, they sure hated the guy before me. They kept booing him all through my act!" Any resemblance to our current president of the United States is purely coincidental.
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?" The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden naked in my trench coat and flash them. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much." Well, the woman was so impressed; she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she flashed her garden hoping for the best. One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?" No", she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous.."
Schwarzenegger has a big one Michal J. Fox has a small one Maddona doesnt have one The Pope has one but doesn't use it Clinton uses his all the time what is it? ? ? ? ? A last name. Whatdidja think i was talkin about? You bunch of preverts.
A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue. . . Doctor: "What happened? Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp." Doctor: "I have a real good medicine against that: When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle". Two weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn and fresh again. Woman: "Doc, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I gargled and gargled with chamomile tea and nothing happened." Doctor: "You see how keeping your mouth shut helps!!!"
Top Tip: In an argument. Before opening a can of worms, make sure its not spaghetti. That way youâll save yourself from looking ridiculous in a tense situation.
Stuyvesant Town is now estimated to be worth less than half of what Tishman and BlackRock paid for it four years ago, but they won't be feeling much pain. Tishman put up only $112 million of equity. Other investors, like California Public Employees' Retirement System..... -------------------- I always feel a sense of east coast pride when I read what a fucking California always takes. (LTCM, Amaranth, others I'm sure I've missed) If it's a failure California probably owns a large piece of it.
from Wouter Bek via the Yahoo 'e-mini traders anon' forum SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.