Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. "My Olympic condoms have arrived. Think I will wear gold tonight."

    My wife says: "Why don't you wear silver and cum fuckin second for a change?"
     
    #6381     Jan 15, 2010
  2. [​IMG]



    Update:


    Not only can your baby get pregnant, but it will probably start smoking and eating velveta cheese and watching Jerry Springer. This is what happens when you are immoral and horny. Only a matter of time before there are Singles bars called "The Womb" and then gambling and sodomy will follow.
     
    #6382     Jan 15, 2010
  3. <object width="500" height="405"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/v_5U-GFTbgc&hl=en_US&fs=1&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/v_5U-GFTbgc&hl=en_US&fs=1&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="405"></embed></object>
     
    #6383     Jan 16, 2010
  4. WOMEN’S ENGLISH

    Yes = No
    No = Yes

    Maybe = No
    I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry

    We need = I want
    It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious

    Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
    We need to talk = I need to complain

    Sure, go ahead = I don’t want you to do that
    I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset

    You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
    Be romantic and turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

    This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
    I want new curtains = I want new curtains, carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper

    I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
    Do you love me? = I want something expensive

    How much do you love me? = I did something terrible today
    I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

    You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
     
    #6384     Jan 16, 2010
  5. My girlfriend dumped me last week just after I broke my wrist.

    Right when I needed her the most!
     
    #6385     Jan 16, 2010
  6. I was a crack baby.

    However both my sisters were Cesarean.
     
    #6386     Jan 16, 2010
  7. Floor collapses at Weight Watchers meeting


    A floor collapsed beneath a group of about 20 members of Weight Watchers as they gathered to compare how many pounds they had shed over Christmas.

    Members of the weight-loss club were lining up to compare readings on the scales when they heard a bang as the floor came away from the walls of their meeting room in Växjö in southern Sweden.

    “We suddenly heard a huge thud – we almost thought it was an earthquake and everything flew up in the air. The floor collapsed in one corner of the room and along the walls,” one of the those present told the Smålandsposten newspaper.

    They abandoned the room as the floor started to give way in other areas.

    "We are going to have to find a replacement premises," Therese Levin, a consultant for Weight Watchers told the newspaper.

    No one was injured in the incident, the cause of which is being investigated. The scales were not damaged and the weigh-in continued in a nearby corridor.

    Source: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article6989291.ece
     
    #6387     Jan 16, 2010
  8. It was a dark and stormy night. The floor collapses at Weight Watchers meeting. Stay tuned......:D
     
    #6388     Jan 16, 2010
  9. I don't like gambling.
     
    #6389     Jan 16, 2010
  10. I don’t trade to win. I trade so I can trade the next day.:D
     
    #6390     Jan 16, 2010