New Year's Resolution and Wish list 1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other Signed Tiger Woods
Come on over. I'll fix lunch. <img src="http://www.cavemancircus.com/wp-content/uploads/images/2009/december/20_worst_product_names_on_earth/20_worst_named_products_on_earth8.jpg" /> Need somethin to wash it down with? <img src="http://www.cavemancircus.com/wp-content/uploads/images/2009/december/20_worst_product_names_on_earth/20_worst_named_products_on_earth7.jpg" />
Ever smelled a fart? Or walked into a public restoom and smelled shit? That means that molecules that were formally in somebody's large intestine are now in your nose. Have a nice day.
Actually it means you're eating them. There's no way you went in there with your mouth closed the whole time. Enjoy the taste next time you eat someone's sh--
PLEASE TAKE BEWARE OF THE DANGER OF PLAYING WITH OLD BITS OF PIPE Man's penis removed from pipe A man who went to casualty with his penis stuck in a steel pipe had to be cut free by firefighters using a metal grinder. Published: 12:49PM GMT 07 Jan 2010 Medics at Southampton General Hospital could not get the man's penis out of the stainless steel pipe because the restricted blood flow had caused it to become aroused. So they called in Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service. They turned up with a special equipment unit from St Mary's station in Southampton and seven firefighters to help in what a spokesman said was a ''delicate operation''. The firefighters used the four-and-a-half-inch grinder to cut the pipe from around the man's penis and it took about 30 minutes. The patient was given an anaesthetic and his penis was left bruised and swollen but otherwise unharmed. The anxious man aged about 40 gave hospital staff no explanation about how the pipe got stuck after he turned up on Tuesday morning. A Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service spokesman said: ''Initially the crew did not have the appropriate cutting equipment to free the man. ''It was a very delicate operation that required a very steady hand and the crew was worried about things getting too hot during the cutting. ''It's certainly an unusual call-out and I'm sure the man won't be getting into that situation again.'' http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6946257/Mans-penis-removed-from-pipe.html
Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter.... First Woman : "My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me. Second Woman : "I know..." First Woman : "How?" Second Woman : "My dog told me."
In 1912, the world famous Austrian gynecologist, Dr. Hermann Otto Kloepneckler, M.D. Ph.D. published the following: "The best engine in the world is the vagina. It can be started with one finger. It is self-lubricating. It takes any size piston. And it changes its own oil every four weeks. It is only a pity that the management system is so fucking temperamental."