Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Hahaha. Where did you hear this one?
     
    #6191     Dec 24, 2009
  2. fhl

    fhl

    I can't remember, but it made me laugh too, so I posted it. :)
     
    #6192     Dec 24, 2009
  3. I think I first heard the midget joke on Johnny Carson. That Johnny used to jack alot of my shit.
     
    #6193     Dec 24, 2009
  4. I've bought a device that makes my wife come every time.

    It's a retractable lead.
     
    #6194     Dec 24, 2009
  5. fhl

    fhl

    One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked for his bill, and the barber replied, "I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.." The florist was pleased and left the shop.
    When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
    Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, "I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.." The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
    Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week." The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.
     
    #6195     Dec 24, 2009
  6. [​IMG]
     
    #6196     Dec 24, 2009
  7. There was this guy at Wall mart today. He was talking to his daughter and she said "Mom said not to get her any jewelry, make up or perfume". Next time I saw him he had a handfull of spatulas.

    ( I think she was goofing around). That guy is going to be in deep shit.
     
    #6197     Dec 24, 2009
  8. He's shopping for his wife at Walmart. What chance does he have?
     
    #6198     Dec 24, 2009
  9. I don't think so. I'm a lot fatter, and not that good looking.

    So, on the midget thing. The secretary goes to Human Resources and says she wants to file a sexual harassment complaint. When asked the charges, she claims Keith, the new guy in accounting, is always sniffing her hair, and making remarks.

    The Human Resources guy says that's a tough one, may not fly. Is she sure she wants to go through this this? Could be a lot of hard feelings.

    She insists. Keith is a midget.
     
    #6199     Dec 24, 2009
  10. Currently I don't know what I bought my wife for Christmas, she hasn't told me yet, but I do know it is going to cost more than I would have spent.
     
    #6200     Dec 24, 2009