Tiger Woods Holiday Poem Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse. She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry, Cause a bimbo's phone number was in his Blackberry. He'd been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed. Woman after woman stepped up and confessed. He'd been cheatin' with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori, With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story. From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues, Tiger's sad sordid tale was all over the news. With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex, When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts. Despite all his cryin' and beggin' and pleadin', Tiger's wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden . And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade, "If you're gettin' laid then I'm gettin' paid." She's not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer, Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.
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Two eggs were boiling in a pan. The female egg said to the male egg, "oh, look, I've got a crack." ****************** Wait there's more!!!!! This is not the end of the joke. ****************** The male egg said, "calm down, I'm not hard yet."
Ever notice on the religion forums (not just here but conversation in general) responses from people who are atheists. For chrissakes they know more about the bible, various religions and beliefs than I do. I suppose you have to know a lot about God, Allah, et al to be an atheist.
Jeni had a great line on religious wars. He said they were fought between people arguing who had the greatest imaginary friend. My philosophy, as a reformed Catholic (I haven't been in, oh, 35 years) is this. There are five major religions, none giving the other a bit of credence as to their beliefs. At least four are wrong, Maybe all five. Probably a good idea to hedge your bets.