A Japanese man hailed a cab and told the driver to take him to the airport. During the journey, a Nissan drove past the taxi. The Japanese man said to the driver "Nissan, very fast! Made in Japan!" After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man told the driver "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!" And then a Mitsubishi overtook the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese said to the driver "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!" The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi got to the airport. The fare was over $300. The Japanese exclaimed, "Why so expensive?" The driver said "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan!"
My wife said "When I'm gone, you'll never find another woman like me." I replied "What makes you think I'd want another woman like you?"
So Tiger Woods has quit golf and if you listen hard enough you will hear the sound of no one giving a shit.
It happens to all of us... You're driving along Just minding your own business, When all of a sudden - Without any warning, This Dick In A Truck Pulls out right in front of you......
I suppose to be fair to Tiger if you got the talent and liquid assets that he has then he might as well spread them around a lot. No point in being mean and denying the human gene pool
Touching and heartfelt "man" stories: 1. I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Morning." He said, "No, just taking a shit". 2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.. 3. My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs." She looked at me and said, "You did this to me you bastard!"I casually replied, "If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick my dick up your ass but you said, "It'll be too painful." 4. I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why, she said, "Because I am trying to examine you." 5. My girlfriend and I were making love last night when she looked up at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies". So I turned her over on all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled it out, flipped her back over and came all over her face and hair. She was pissed. I guess we don't watch the same movies.
Tell the PGA Tour and all the TV sponsors that. Did you see the SNL multiple skit with the prez of the PGA crying and drinking? Too funny. c